if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
