I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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