he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
