Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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