I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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