My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
