I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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