didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
