Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
