Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize
