A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
