Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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