question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
