Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
