i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
