You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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