It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
