great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
