Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my shit smells like andre
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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