Porn is love you can see.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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