And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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