wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
