You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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