buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
As shirtless as possible
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
