I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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