I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
