Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
