Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
