Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
