yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
