that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
