These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
