There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
