Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
are you so shy because you have an std?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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