help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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