Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
