question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
