i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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