so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
