i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
