she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
