i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
