Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
