I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
