Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
