I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
no you cant smoke seaweed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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