I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
