just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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