Whats the glycemic index on semen?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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