Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
