just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
