dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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